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Scully is dead

I wrote an email to my friends and family so I'm just going to paste it here.

Hello everyone,

Most of you know that in the past few days I've been having lots of problems with my cat, Scully. She was obviously very sick and the vet diagnosed her with something called Fatty Liver. Today on June 9th, she took a steep turn for the worse. I probably should have called it earlier but it has been hard for me to tell, as I've spent pretty much every moment around her the whole time I've had her, but tonight around midnight I realized she was in so much pain and so upset about herself and she couldn't even lift her head anymore. So we took her to the emergency vet, and they pointed out that most likely, the underlying cause was Lymphoma, and they couldn't even take her blood pressure it was so low. I've always been about the quality of life and her comfort. House cats aren't meant to be fighters, you know? And Scully had always been picky as all hell.

So we had her put to sleep - or rather, killed, because I think it's important to call things what they actually are - at about 1am this morning on June 10th. It was very fast and she was making noise up until the last moment, probably because dammit, she wanted to.

All of you have been involved with Scully in one way or another and I would just like to tell you all thank you, for putting up with my regular complaining about Scully, and for giving her some love once in a while. I really have appreciated it personally. I can't speak for Scully but she was a bit of a preener when she had visitors so she probably would have agreed with me, to the extent that she ever agreed with me about anything.

Mom & Dad - Thanks for raising me to finally make the right decision for Scully okay?

While it is unfortunate that she was so unhappy her last few days, I have to be glad about how quickly she died. She had a damn good life for a few years and never put up with anything less.

Thanks,
~Sarah


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Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
junkshop_disco
Jun. 10th, 2011 10:04 am (UTC)
I'm sorry.

*hugs*
mizufae
Jun. 10th, 2011 01:40 pm (UTC)
thanks.

.
.
when people say they're sorry to these sorts of things i always want to object and say they dont have anything to be sorry about, did you give my cat lymphoma? but i have to remember advice i've given other people. it's important to allow others to say these sorts of formulaic things because it's not the specific words but the general feeling of condolences. and it's important for me, as the mourning party, to engage in the back and forth exchange, because relying on ritual in one of the most brilliant tools in the human psychological arsenal.

so.

*hugs back*
nightsinger
Jun. 10th, 2011 06:06 pm (UTC)
*Hugs* My condolences on your loss; she was a lovely kitty, and I'm glad she didn't have to suffer for long.
mizufae
Jun. 11th, 2011 06:24 am (UTC)
She was NOT a lovely kitty. She was hell with claws. But she was a pretty princess. Thanks.
shampayn
Jun. 11th, 2011 12:33 am (UTC)
aw sweetie :(( *tight hugs*
mizufae
Jun. 11th, 2011 06:25 am (UTC)
Thanks dear. I'm doing fine though so no need to worry about me.
fairest1
Jun. 11th, 2011 04:52 am (UTC)
*snugs* It's horrible to have to say goodbye, but far better than prolonging the suffering.
mizufae
Jun. 11th, 2011 06:27 am (UTC)
Yeah. At the emergency vet our doctor was this very young woman, and when I first mentioned putting her down she became so immediately relieved. She told me that she was really glad that I was able to see it logically. It must be so hard, to be a young vet working the really awful job of late-night emergency animal hospital shift, and always dealing the desperate pet owners who are convinced their animals shouldn't die yet.

I pretty much knew about two days ago that it was the end. So I'm glad that my vet was so honest with me and didn't once make me feel at all bad about my decision or the speed with which I came to it.
katnap414
Jun. 11th, 2011 05:10 am (UTC)
She has such pretty coloring! It reminds me of a cat that we had at the shelter just recently.

I've had two childhood cats pass away, but I was never the one who had to make the decision to euthanize them. I can't imagine it's easy. The whole process is so emotional and intense, and having to be the adult and be in charge must be even more difficult.
mizufae
Jun. 11th, 2011 06:32 am (UTC)
It was a lot more emotional than I expected it would be for me - I'm very matter of fact about death and have long realized that my cat wasn't going to be the type to struggle on forever and ever. So I knew I would cry and stuff, but after I got home was when I *really* cried. I rolled around on my bathroom floor and sobbed and hacked and all that good stuff for like twenty minutes. And then the rest of the night I just spent in bed and sometimes I would cry a bit, but it was all good, obviously cathartic crying. I finally went to sleep after dawn and when I woke up today I felt pretty much resolved about everything.

I couldn't scroll up to look at Scully's picture last night when I made this post, but now I can just fine.

The thing of it is, is that I don't like to think about how sad and in pain she was these past few days. But yesterday it was my ENTIRE WORLD, how bad off she was. Now today I can remember the rest of her life with me and recall all the weirdass amusing or adorable or annoying things about her. So it's much much better.
claudine
Jun. 12th, 2011 05:48 am (UTC)
*hugsnuffles*
She looks lovely. And happy in that picture.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )