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spoiler alert

Amazing netflix review for Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist:

This movie is about teenagers with no parents in New York. New York is a very small city in which only a few main characters live. They only like bands that no one has ever heard of, which makes them cool. Nick and Nora are cute together because all of their friends are crazy, drunk, angry, stupid, condescending, gay, or a combination of these qualities. High schoolers in New York are apparently regarded as independent adults, because they all go to clubs, drink, score, and play "gigs" in their personal bands, which no one has ever heard of, so they're cool. Nora punches Nick in the throat for no apparent reason, and then they make out. She's a virgin, but lets Nick get to third base within hours of knowing him. That's hot. Her friend is very drunk and sexually provocative, and lost for most of the movie. Thank goodness for her that New York is so safe for cute provocative drunk high school girls with no parents. Nora looks after her and shares her gum. That's friendship.

I'm gonna go watch that movie now, because Michael Cera makes me tingly in my pants parts and I'm not gonna lie to myself about it.

Edit: Upon viewing, I can vouch that this review is 100% accurate. I give it 4 stars.

Also I'm way cooler than I thought I was cuz I've heard of at least 15% of the bands/actually own some of the soundtrack. Who knew? Apparently I'm twee?


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 20th, 2009 05:28 pm (UTC)
LOL I love this review.

I heart Michael Cera, and it was a cute movie and everything, but they do have a point.

I may be showing my lack of knowledge of this whole "base" system, but I thought 3rd base was oral and they only got to second base, but maybe I'm just using the bases for whores system?
Nov. 20th, 2009 05:46 pm (UTC)
You are def. using the bases for whores system.

The whole "base" system works under the presupposition that one's body is the playing field, not what is being *done* to one's body. So, if your genitals are involved, bam, that's 3rd base. As long as it's skin-to-skin, and isn't *both* genitals at once. I would argue, however, that the base system is inherently flawed in that I totes agree, oral is at least a step beyond some hunkydory assisted masturbation while you're being recorded on the smelly leather couth in your dad's fancy studio. Man, that movie was weird.
Nov. 20th, 2009 06:04 pm (UTC)
And as further explanation, since you apparently have a lack of knowledge, here is what I learned, schoolyard-stylez, of the base system:

1st base is kissing, lips to lips.
2nd base is boob-grabbing (It should be noted that the base system functions in a heterosexual paradigm wherein the man is the player and the woman is the field. When other combinations of genitalia are in question the metaphor breaks down; this speaks not only to the inherent misogyny of inexperienced teenagers but also to that of the baseball institution itself. But I digress.)
3rd base is getting in contact with The Fabled Vagina, by any means necessary, as long as the penis isn't involved. In reverse, it's getting in contact with the penis without involving the vagina. In Northern Virginia middle schools, 3rd base included anal sex, ridiculous as this may seem, in addition to oral in either direction.
Home is the good ol' penetrative horizontal polka.

At some point I asked a school friend what sex act was about where the shortstop stands. She didn't have an answer.

One must recall, these discussions were had during the Clinton Lewinsky scandal year(s). After that bullshit was ironed out, pretty much everyone my age had redefined "sex" to include oral. So, your bases for whore system is EVEN MORE off. Nick & Norah *did* get to 3rd, and every time you gave a guy a blow job you were letting him slide into home and you DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT. You slut.
Nov. 20th, 2009 07:48 pm (UTC)
Movie is super cute. AMAZING and ACCURATE review.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )