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STARGATE CRACK THEORY TIME

Jack O'Neill gets thrust back in time, ALL THE WAY BACK to approx the 8th century for whatever reason where he finds THOR, his bff, reigning calmly over some early viking peeps. Jack is like "Thor! My BFF, you gotta send me back to the present day!" and thor is all "who the fuck are you?"

Jack, being Jack, totally manages to 1. deal with crazy vikings and make them his bitch, 2. Convince Thor that he totally DOES know him and they have saved each other's lives on multiple occasions and also they are lovers so Thor is like "well okay but how can I help, I can't time travel, we have to wait for one of those solar flare things like you said."

So in the meantime, Jack saves his little civilization, not from alien encroachment but of course from other humans, because the Asgard, at that point, are too close-minded to figure out that humans are goddamn *idiots* about each other. So of course, the viking people are like "DO ME, JACK ONEILL" and Jack obliges, because he is a *man*, after all. In the process of being their hero, Jack makes allusions to being Over the Rainbow and the series' continual reference of Oz, inadvertently inserting the preexisting myth of the rainbow bridge to Asgard into the norse mythos.

As a thanks, Thor is like "lol here you can has a stargate and I will help you get home" and WHABAM Jack O'Neill gets home...

TO FIND OUT THAT DANIEL JACKSON IS ACTUALLY HIS GREATGREATGREATGREATGREATGREATGREATGREAT GRANDSON! :O :O :O :O :O

I. Am. A. Genius.

edit: yes, I am totally aware of how this is very much like the plot of that NextGen episode of epic amazingness where Brent Spiner is Mark Twain and Picard is like "wtf Guinan wut r u doin' here" and she is all "who the hell are you" but then helps him out anyway. But you know what? I wanted some way that "Jackson" is actually from "Jack" and that episode of NextGen was FANTASTIC (I mean come on, Geordi acting fake-blind??? Epic.)

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
May. 29th, 2009 07:50 pm (UTC)
I like your story. Do they actually have any plans for more stargate shows or movies? i figure you would know about such things. Jack and Jackson! Stupid me; I never thought about it that way! Of course they should be related.
mizufae
May. 29th, 2009 09:22 pm (UTC)
Who are you, anonymous?

And no, as far as I know, Jack O'Neill is out of Stargate for good (although there continues to be more stargate stuff... that's a long story, though)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )