Welcome to my picspam of part 1 of iDateaBadBoy, in which EVERYONE is an idiot, except Sam.
If you hate the commentary and just want the caps, the gallery is here.
I have been away a long time. Sorry about that. My keyboard is kind of broken. Every time I want to type a zero, or the letter p, or an apostrophe, or a close parentheses, or a... you get the idea. Anyone wanna buy me a new Macbook?
Oh, hi Dan, whatup? Wanna buy me a new Macbook? I would happily take a pearbook, you know, if you just have one lying around... What? I shouldnt be asking you for inordinate favors as I spread content I paid for, for free around the intertubes so folks can make cool things for non profit purposes? Okay then. See you laters.
Anyway, this episode started off promising! A nice Seddie!shove, and a good amount of Freddie in general. Among my friends in the #groovysmoothie IRC channel, which you all should come visit, btw, we have bemoaned the Severe Lack of Freddie in the past couple of episodes. This one, thank god, made up for it, slightly.
So Sam shows our goody two shoes protagonists some sweet neck pus, and they flip out. Good times!
~~BREAK FOR OPENING CREDITS~~
*talk amongst yourselves*
We come back to find Spence severely pissed off. He is also wearing an amazingly gorgeous shirt. Kris, good job on the Spence=brown color scheme thing you have going on.
Enter: Griffin, lookin' all tough and whatnot. I like the cop, have we seen him before, I wonder?
The Shays are ANGRAY! in a synchronized fashion.
However, they are quickly placated with Mister Monkey. Abz says "I just love that he has a monkey keychain. I love it, I really, really do."
"I am Ted of San Dimas, and, uh, I bring to you a message of love. ~~ Oh, you beautiful babes from England, for whom we have traveled through time... will you go to the prom with us in San Dimas? We will have a most triumphant time!"
"Will you get us a limo? Do we have to put out?"
I just like their poses in this cap, the composition of the image, how freaking widespread Griffin's legs are, etc etc.
I couldn't get a very good cap of this, but I loved how *used* to being dragged by the wrist Spencer seems to be. Carly is SUCH a brat in the whole episode, I really wanted to slap her silly most of the time. Spencer has insanely amazing patience.
Fancy soaps! What sort of fancy soaps do you think the Shays have in their 1st floor bathroom?? Do they light up? Are they shaped like animals? Do they smell like New York City in the rain??? Leave ideas in the comments!
Here, have that pic Dan twitted, without the watermark, and bigger. Carly's head: roughly the size of a cantaloupe?
HOLY MOLY MAGICAL HAIR. Sam's hair has been less magical lately, and it resumes its semi magical state in the rest of this episode, but in THIS scene, her hair is INSANELY magical.
Also, what are all those stickers all over her laptop? I am ever so curious. Her friends are cute, is that Wendy on her left? I like how Sam has hoodlumish friends she hangs out with when she isn't slummin' it with Carls and Fredarina.
Okay, what the hell is this lame o fist bump handslap thing Freddie is doing with this guy? It is a Dude thing, I know that much. But what IS it? I first encountered it in fanfic, you see. And then, after I read about it? I started SEEING it EVERYWHERE. It must be the new Firm Handshake? I don't even want to know. Oh, Freddie. ::sigh::
Yes, I DO have way too many caps of all the Seddie scenes. Is this a surprise? Honestly. I tried to get the good bits of the other stuff, but you all know I watch the Sam & Freddie Show, with their plucky sidekick Carly. Not the other way around.
Cheska's Freddie Sexy Looks Counter: 1!
Theory: Sam made sure her hair was extra magical today so as to weave her manipulative magic spell on Freddie.
But it isn't working!
A little convincing... A little fairydust...
Like putty in her hands! Notice: The "pressure" sign above Freddie's head; the yellow star sewed onto his jacket; how gosh darned cute they both are; and how obviously Freddie realizes that Something Is Up.
Cheska's Freddie Sexy Looks Counter: 2!
Character sledgehammers! :D :D
See, thing of it is, stuff like this really happens, when you are making art.
How many metal cubes were there? How many takes did this take? These are the things I demand to know!
Carly scream counter: 2!
Oh, for god's sake. Full disclosure on my opinion of Griffin:
I despised him in part one of this episode, but after part 2, I decided I really liked him. I think Carly was a total nutjob about the entire situation, and he should have someone who actually likes him. He did NOT come off as 22, he definitely seemed like a highschool kid, albeit a senior. And as I am a horrible pedo, this makes him AWESOME, because I can crush on him and NOT feel dirty about it! Well, except that I like that he comes off as so young. OH GOD I AM GOING TO HELL.
Right, anyway, nice pose, there. Someone give him a fireman's hat or something and have him hold a puppy in the other arm.
Carls, however, is not quite as taken as I was.
See? Spence is totally used to this treatment. And he is getting *tired* of it. What is with Carls and her ego this episode? I like it, of course. The less of a perfect princess Carly is, the more I care about her character whatsoever. Anyway I just love the postures and the body language in this cap, don't you?
Spence is officially tired of your bullshit whining about criminals. Basically, for the rest of part 1, Spencer is awesome.
Wendy! We have seen her before, in the background of scenes. I love her red hair, and I like that she is sort of Sam!Light. Theory: Wendy has been in love with Spencer ever since she saw him on an episode of iCarly, and has been figuring out ways to get over to Carly's house. Behold! A ship is born! I dub thee: Ship Thimble! (Get it? cuz of Wendy? peter pan? get it????)
Note the purple spraypaint for later.
Here is the humorously incorrect exterior of the Groovy Smoothie! Note the homey shelves and the heart motif wire cafe chairs inside as well as outside, the incorrect front door, the stodgy old dudes going in... I mean, honestly, could you do no better? Dang a diddly, there.
So here sit Sam and Freddie, on a date. I mean, a meeting, to discuss the website. Oh come ON, this is just ridiculous. Sam is fairly impressed and Freddie is proud of himself. Sounds like they got themselves on a date to me.
Cheska's Freddie Sexy Looks Counter: 3!
Here, the only way to really comment on this one is with a visual adjustment:
This fancy contract that Sam's Mom's lawyer boyfriend drew up for them reminds me of nothing more than the hugantic contract people had to sign to get into Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Did her mom date an oompa loompa lawyer?? Well it doesn't matter, cuz she moved up to dating a rabbi! Nice job, Madam puckett! Theory time!: Sam is *jewish*! She has that Star of David necklace picture hanging in her locker, she says oy, she loves bacon, these are all sure signs of jewishness.
"Woah! I almost didn't recognize you guys NOT sitting on my couch."
Oh my god, when I heard Spencer say that line, my very first reaction was "holy crap Basco57 is going to flip! out!" Basco wrote this epic Seddie fic, from Spencer's perspective, all about how they end up getting together on his couch, and it goes so far as to have them get practically married on the couch... anyway it is kind of insane.Here is the fic, I recommend it, if you like silliness and cartoonish levels of violence. A LOT of things in this whole episode made me go, woah, is Dan reading fanfic? But he says he is not, so there you have it. Good job fic writers, staying surprisingly in character for the show! *claps*
Sam: 19,372; Freddie: 0.
Dan thinks T-Bo is the funniest thing since sliced bread. Me? Not so much. But I *do* like how he is apparently trying to be pirate chic!
Spence is going to have to teach Carly the ways of putting a sock on the doorknob, you guys.
Meanwhile, they are swapping fluids quite eagerly. Griffin has his hand on her skinny thigh, there, but in my world, such widely set posture says just kissing, and not making out. Sorry, but curious and lonely kids trying to learn how to snog from watching things on TV are going to have to turn elsewhere.
A. Maz. Ing.
Love Griffin's little crotch readjustment, there. Could he BE any more testosteronetastic and stay on Nick?
And then Spencer flips the hell out, nearly pops out an eyeball, gets spittle on Griffin, throws him out, bans him forever, and THEN throws a *bagel* at him. Damn.
A serious moment, here: Spencer has this aspect of his personality that is almost NEVER touched on in fic. He is *cruel* and relishes immediate retribution. He loves seeing people get their comeuppance. Now, certainly, this comes from an evolved sense of Right and Wrong, having had to be mature enough for two kids at once for quite some time, but it also makes him FAR less of a bumbling saint than he often seems to be. I like this part of him very much, just like I love how Freddie is a pissy little bitch and Carly is an enormous brat. But when people complain, oh, all these terrible things happen to Spencer, wahwahwah, well sometimes? Not always, but sometimes? He might deserve them.
Yeah, that's hot.
"And I kiss like a princess!"
Miranda, as an actress, is improving. I will just leave it at that.
FOR TILL COLLEGE!!!!!~~~~ epic.
This is right after he calls her "Lipsy." Here is where I get mad.
Look, Spencer is responsible for her, and as such, ought to be raising her with modern concepts of propriety and responsibility as a member of today's society. And damning a girl for her extremely low level promiscuity, generally slut shaming your sister? NOT ON. UNACCEPTABLE. Thank *god* this half of the episode ends like it does, because I would be *extremely* upset otherwise. What he said, the WAY he said it, is NOT an okay thing to have on TV that thousands of awkward horny teenage girls are watching.
Right. I am sorry. I will now get off my feminist soapbox. But girls? If you want to kiss somebody? It is Okay.
Then of course he reveals that he has been macking on girls since he was *eleven*, thus proving himself a big fat idiot hypocrite who takes the next fifteen minutes of show to figure it out.
Yeah Carls! Make it unperfect! He deserves it! Ugh!
Note: Griffin was supposed to spraypaint that thing purple. He never even started, apparently. He obviously had a *plan* and *executed* it while Spencer was out.
WOAH nelly. This is one candy colored cap! First of all, diggity damn is Freddie stylin' or is he just auditioning for the Miami Vice reboot? Second of all, that rainbow hoodie sweater thing in the background? I WANT IT. gimme gimme!
I love these Seddie hallway scenes that we get. So, I think, after their date at the Groovy Smoothie, Sam didn't have a plan, and honestly wanted her site to be cool and have that first wave of changes. But then afterwards, she got an IDEA, and called up the other Sam, and made a deal, and cooked up piles and piles of notes just to make Freddie give up his half of the cash. It of course, worked like a charm:
Note: I believe that her microwave is still in her locker. It is that blue thing, yeah?
Freddie's tips and tricks on how to get your best friend to love you:
Step 1: Make a Frogface!
Step 2: Wheedle.
Step 3: Basically inform her that her best friend was just being a bitch, but catch yourself in time before you say anything profane in front of your beloved and instead look like you have a hairball.
Step 4: Stomp away, full of rage!
With this method, you will be SURE to get exactly what you want in no time.
I thought this outfit was cute, anyway. Very Boston.
Really great postures, nice composition, blah blah. Continuity note: the ripped up contract remains on the ground, despite Sam leaning down to pick it up earlier.
I think Sam is lying about having been tazed. I think she lies about most of the badass things she says she has done or experienced. Except, of course, for the most crazy ones, those are likely true.
Does Jennette decide, I wonder? Does she have a list, of when Sam is lying and when Sam is being truthful? I like to think that she knows, at the very least, personally, if Sam is being full of shit at the moment or not.
I love Carly in this. Sam obviously would like to jump Griffin's bones, and I don't blame her. But does Carly realize that she is rubbing gums, as they say, with a male version of her BFF? Cam shippers: do you agree? yes or no?
oshit, crazy brother alert!
Janitor fight??? Someone shop in some lightsabers *immediately*, okay?
Spencer likes to press buttons.
The Most Serious Wiggle Ever.
Miranda must weigh like, two pounds.
Yeah I just love his shirt. again.
Carly likes to touch her kidneys!
This whole thing was Highly Illogical. Mainly, there are about a bazillion other exits from the Shay apartment than the front door. Let us count them, shall we?
Kitchen door to back hallway, Studio back hallway/ fire escape, elevator, and presumably there is yet another exit on Carly's floor. That! Is a lot of pressure sensitive plates, NOT TO MENTION that Carly can repel down the side of the building using the fishing rod from the last Mandy episode! Crazy Spencer, wasting your money.
Meanwhile, Sam doesn't take any crap from bagel pushing smoothie buffoons. Also, the kid in the background raided Freddie's closet.
A Chance Encounter at the Smoothie Shop.
Fic writers take note: Madame Chang's Chinese Restaurant across the way, with pretty windblown rosebushes out front. Utilize it for date nights! You know you want to. Sam and Freddie get Chinese, or, Breaking the Fortune Cookie, or, High Times with Lo Mein. Oh man, I got a million of em.
I love how he just up and sits down. A year ago, that would NOT have happened. He might not be winning anything much against her, but he has dropped nearly *all* pretenses of politeness around her, and I love the hell out of it. Does this count as a sexy look, Cheska?
Combined with the previous cap, I say this counts as Cheska's Freddie Sexy Looks Counter: 4!
Of course, Sam sold the website for a thousand bucks. A thousand bucks! That is a whole damn lotta work Freddie put into this site! and for how long, like, a week, two weeks at most? Can I hire Freddie to do *my* website for fifty bucks??
Oh no! Those are not the Scoopy Eyebrows of Bemusement! Those are the Horizontal Eyebrows of Looming Dismay! oh, Freddie, I would give you a hug, but really, you are SUCH an *idiot*. The only possible reason you keep doing this to yourself is that you LIKE it, because we know that you aren't totally dumb. Masochist.
Cheska's Freddie Sexy Looks Counter: 5!
Also I think Fans of Money + Sam is like, nearly a Thing by now, don't you?
Sam rolled a mostly successful fortitude check against Freddie's Sexy Look and drops the bad news bomb on his skinny butt.
Droopy Eyebrows of Having Just Been Royally Screwed.
But the Sexy Look must have gotten through a teeny tiny bit, because Sam gives him a whole dollar! When she didn't have to at all!
This totally means that she is in love with him. It is the dollar of true love! Freddie will put it in the secret book of Sam memories he keeps under his bed! He will tell their children about how it all really started with that dollar bill, which he will carry in his wallet for the rest of his life! Oh my god being insane is fun sometimes.
This needs to be an icon. Let me do the caps for the other half of the episode first, though, kay?
You know that music in Westerns where the two main dudes face off in a shoot out? This is all wanna wanna naa... nyah nyah nyah... right here.
Besmooched! Besmooched. Besmooched???
The jacket, I covet it. Also, Spencer is an idiot, but we totally knew that already.
I covet Carly's jacket, too. Godammit!
Not!Lewbert! Theory: This is ACTUALLY Hewbert, the Night Guy. He is Lewbert's half brother, is way less high strung than Lewbert is, and has been dating Marissa for the last three months.
Ninjas, monsters, or very large trucks.
A man who knows what he likes.
Of course, it was all a RUSE! A ruse for romance! A rendezvous ruse, if you will. Yeah, this is me, at the top of my game.
Carly Sexy Looks Counter: 1. Oh yeah, she has some moves.
Also I really like the Orange with the Teal Blue of her jacket, here.
Carly scream counter: 3!
Chair: coveting. Umbrella drink coveting. Lankiness to pull off pose such as that: coveting.
I think this cap really speaks for itself.
And now it is time for mixed messages with your host, Spencer Shay! Turn on the radio to encourage your baby sister to have sexytimes with her older and obviously randy as hell boyfriend!
But, just as they lean in to get their mack on...
Cockblock them with your creepy robot companion, complete with irising red glowing eyes!
Oh, Spencer, you are a chuckle and a half.
That is it for part one! I will have the caps for part two when I have them. Don't rush me!
I love love LOVE comments! Feel free to take these caps and use them for whatever nonprofit purposes you devise. If you wish to credit, credit mizufae.
part two is here! two hundred and one caps of it! dear god!