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Monstera Watch day 1

The label reads:
The Delicious Monstera [monstera deliciosa]
Monstera tastes like a cross between banana and pineapple. Use in salads, with cereal, drinks, shakes, sauces and a variety of desserts. Please wait for exterior green scales to fall away naturally then enjoy the creamy white flesh inch by inch. A tropical delight!




I bought it at Whole Foods yesterday. It smells faintly like an unripe peach with a coconut backdrop. At the prompting of Rachel [not you, Rae] I will try to post a new photo each day. I am *most* curious about what this thing is going to be like. It is outrageously phallic. Yesterday I described it as a pangolin if it were green and a fruit.

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
gothic_hamlet
Jun. 30th, 2008 09:11 pm (UTC)
EAT IT.

Do it before I break into your house and do it for you.
mizufae
Jun. 30th, 2008 09:14 pm (UTC)
Can't you *read*???
I have to wait for the scales to naturally fall off!
Believe me, the wait will be just as excruciating for me as it is for you.
nightsinger
Jun. 30th, 2008 09:31 pm (UTC)
That thing looks disturbing. Personally, I prefer phallic objects to not have scales.

That said, it sounds like it will be amazingly tasty. Good marketing or simple truth? I trust in you to tell the answer.
diplobrat
Jun. 30th, 2008 10:48 pm (UTC)
I love your plate! It's so cool!
mizufae
Jun. 30th, 2008 11:43 pm (UTC)
courtesy of Ikea, of course.
polarbee
Jul. 1st, 2008 12:16 am (UTC)
I hope that thing tastes good because it is really squicking me out. I don't think I could have that in my kitchen.
mizufae
Jul. 1st, 2008 12:25 am (UTC)
hahahhaa, well, when you're used to a steady diet of seal blubber, reindeer jerky and fourteen different types of snow, I guess LA MONSTERA *would* seem a bit disconcerting.
polarbee
Jul. 1st, 2008 01:29 am (UTC)
Reindeer is absolutely delicious. I'll keep my reindeer; you can have your scaly fruit.
samuelp
Jul. 1st, 2008 06:18 am (UTC)
So... green tentacle plant monsters actually DO exist!

And if you can't take the waiting, I'm sure there are some "natural processes" you could employ to encourage their removal...
rax
Jul. 1st, 2008 12:26 pm (UTC)
That's _terrifying._ Wow.
mizufae
Jul. 1st, 2008 06:33 pm (UTC)
you asked for it, lady.
rax
Jul. 1st, 2008 06:40 pm (UTC)
And I desire more!
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )